A letter to cousin about being rejected in an audition


Dear Chris,


Hey! It’s been so long since the last time we talked. How’s Canada treating you? I hope everything goes well on your end, though things don’t go exactly as I wanted in HK.

You know how a frantic fan I’m of drama. So last week, when Mr. Chan announced that everyone in class could go for an audition for roles in the spring play, Romeo and Juliet, I dived in with no hesitation. And you know what? It was awful.


Remember how we’ve always had our private “shows” back when we were kids? You were always Romeo and I always played Juliet. Those were certainly the good old days and I wanted to experience the joy of being Juliet again, so I opted for auditioning her play. It was then I knew I’m no material for being an actress AT ALL.

I practised an awful lot the night before the audition and I was so nervous that I couldn’t sleep. So as you can imagine, I looked terrible and felt dreadful in the audition. I swore I could pass out in any minute. When it was my turn to read the script, I was supposed to read, “Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone.” As simple as THAT! But guess what? I couldn’t utter one single word… I stood there like a mute and stared at the director, for one whole minute. The director let out an audible sigh that echoed in my mind for the rest of the day. I could see my friends waving their hands, signaling me to speak up but as sad as it might seem, I apologized and left the stage dejectedly.


No doubt, I was rejected because I didn’t even read the script. After the audition was over, the director patted on my back and there in the backstage I tried not to fall apart but the sinking feeling started. I was mad at myself for being so incapable. I blamed myself for embarrassing my own self in front of over 50 people. An epic fail, indeed.


So I wandered around with a grimace. (Don’t judge. You’ve told me I look bad when I’m sad. I know. But I couldn’t control myself…) Mr. Chan saw me and picked up on thing. He talked to me and patiently listened to me grumbling and whining. I handed him the script which had notes all over the page. I told him I did try my utmost to be prepared for the audition and yet I failed hard. He told me, “Sometimes it takes more than efforts to excel, Pat. And you know what? These notes are really detailed! Would you want to give them to the director to have a look?” so I did what Mr. Chan suggested. The director thanked me wholeheartedly for voicing out my opinions and said I had great potential to be a director.


The whole experience was invaluable, Chris. True, I was dejected and bitterly disappointed with my performance in the audition. I did let myself down when it came to acting (which I think years of practising with you would be more than enough. Hahaha…) But everyone has his own specialty I guess and I realized that last week. Perhaps my gift would be having an eye for details and being a good director. Who knows?

So what do you think of the whole “audition” I’ve just told you? DON’T you dare saying I’m so embarrassing or I’d tell Mom you bully me! Anyway, I hope we can see each other this summer when you visit HK. Take good care of yourself!