Fear- the conqueror of the world at all times. Yet fear has different meanings to people at different life stages. As an adolescent, my fear is no longer being obedient or becoming rebellious during my teenage years.
In general, it’s the fear of losing control over my life. Others’ impressions of me built up throughout my childhood as a “good girl” will be all gone. Playing with fire often might also damage the relationships built in family and church because of impulsive and inconsiderate behaviours. I will no longer be the role model for my sister. Thousands of “what-ifs” are on my mind, and I am not even ready to be a teen entering the journey of changes, changes, and changes.
I try my best to hide this fear and tell myself to be the Chantal who follows the rules at home, the funny Chantal
with friends and the responsible Chantal towards teachers.
After all, why am I thinking that lot? That’s probably because I read online articles about teenagers’ brains- teens mainly use the amygdala, which is in charge of emotions, impulses, and aggressive behaviour. I always like steadiness and have been trained to be disciplined and obedient since the day I was born- from sitting well when eating to managing time properly. I sometimes follow the rules blindly. For example, my mum reminded me to eat vegetables first when having a hot pot dinner. Since then, I eat vegetables first every meal (even if it’s not a hot pot). Okay, let me admit it, I care about the comments from others too much.
To become the conqueror of fear, I can share this fear deep down with my parents and look for their feedback and advice. I can be the Chantal I want to be. The crucial step, however, is to accept that there are things I can’t control. Instead, I can pray for guidance from God and adults who have been supporting me. Last but not least, I will continue the process of exploring and figuring out who I am.
It’s time for us to conquer fear.