Dear Editor
In response to Eve Adam’s letter about switching to the traditional marriage as a solution to rising divorce rate, I strongly disagree with it as every person has freedom of love.
To commence with, couples are leading a hectic lifestyle in fast-paced society, in which divorce arises easily due to the lack of communication. Gone are the days when women did not work but stayed at home most of the time. Nowadays, women, let alone men, need to work around the clock. They usually spend the majority of their non-working time sleeping. Therefore, it is not uncommon that couples have only a very limited amount of time, if not none, to communicate and share with each other. Without sufficient communication, it is difficult to keep a relationship. Misunderstanding may occur and bring about divorce. Moreover, with this hustle and bustle lifestyle, extra burden and enormous stress are added to people’s shoulders. People will become more impatient than before and will be easily provoked by trifles. Their anger, although understandable, worsens their relationship since it is likely for them to vent their anger on their husband or wife. This also contributes to the rising divorce rate.
A further point is that people are not as serious towards marriage as those in the past. There is an increasing prevalence that people get married on impulse. There groups of people do not really know thoroughly about their partners. Occasionally, they put unrealistic and over-fancied expectations on their partners. But when their partners fail to meet the high expectation in reality, common place matrimonial strives are probably trigged off. The number of divorce increases due to frequent arguments between couples.
In addition to the aforementioned causes, declining fertility rate also contributes to the rising divorce rate. Babies or children are witnesses of couples’ love. All parents love their offsprings and no parent wants his children to grow up in a broken family. Quite a large proportion of young couples do not want to give birth to babies due to tremendous financial burden. If couples have children, even if they have quarrels, they will think of the future of their children. After considering their children, it is less likely for couples to divorce so easily because they would try their best to give the best environment to their offspring to grow up. But on the other hand, with no children, what couples have to consider is the feeling of themselves, that is whether they want or do not want to have divorce.
As suggested by Eve Adam and those who advocate traditional system marriage, arranged marriage or the marriage system that parents guide their children in the choice of partner is the solution to the rising divorce rate. However, in my opinion, this traditional marriage system is not a solution to the problem but a way leading to more failure in marriage.
Just like what I have mentioned before, communication is indispensable in keeping a good relationship with others, including couples, friends and family. But under traditional marriage, people may even have to marry strangers. There is no communication and understanding before marriage. Granted, it is still possible to develop true love after marriage. But what is the true meaning of marriage? Practical arrangements for the purpose of procreation? Forming alliances between families and clans? Not at all! Marriage is an expression of everlasting love. One should choose it only when he is 100% confident that he will love his/her spouse forever.
Moreover, there is no guarantee that traditional marriage can stop people from having a divorce. Even if people just get married, some of them view divorce as a right when they find there is no love, no common interest and no consensus between them..
All in all, the suggestion of switching back to traditional marriage system is unsound. I hope all readers, including Eve Adam, can build up a positive and correct attitude towards love and marriage after reading this letter.
Yours faithfully,
Chris Wong